THANK YOU, KATHY MARTIN

No, not this one, the phenomenally fast 53-year-old from New York State who last year broke 5:00 for the 1500m and holds several American records. Even more remarkable than the 2004 USATF Masters Athlete of the Year, albeit in a most disenchanting way, is the Kansas State School Board member whose ideas are so batshit bonkers that any reservations I may have harbored about being unfairly harsh toward the religious right have been eradicated.

Martin is exactly like a human being only dumber. If a yeast infection could grow five-plus feet tall and learn rudimentary language and mimickry skills, it would resemble Ms. Martin, though perhaps without the instinctive need to befrigger, meddle and ruin. I don't know how else to put it without grossly understating the truth about this pimple on the ass of Kansas.

I became aware of Martin's position on evolution some time ago, when it first became clear that biological and geological facts were once again being targeted for erasure from Kansas public schools in favor of thinly disguised Biblical donkeyshit. But until recently I was unaware she actually held the position of science teacher for many years. Given her unabashed beliefs, this is syphilitically macabre, as unfathomable as the idea of Ku Klux Klan members enjoying administrative authority in the NAACP. That Martin holds a masters in special education is comically appropriate and too ripe to explore in detail.

There's no need for a line-item lambasting of Martin's claims. It's not warranted. If you at this point have no idea what I'm yammering about, this Salon.com article does a good job of covering the basics, illustrating that Martin is not even smart enough to hide the fact that she hasn't read up on what she's trying to have removed from Jayhawk State classrooms. How does someone like this get elected to any position more meaningful than bridge club secretary? What the hell is wrong with people in that part of the country? Do they just need a good dip in the ocean? Progressives in the heartland must be gnashing their anuses at this evil yet widely supported chicanery.
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