IT ISN'T EASY BEING GREENVILLE

Subtitle: World's Best Juxtaposition.

Check out the second and third letters to the editor in today's Greenville News. I'd like to think the latter was, in the tradition of National Lampoon, actually penned by a playful editor who was ripped to the gills on moonshine as press time approached, but I know better.

The indictment of creationist biologists makes the missive from the bumpkinfuck underneath it that much more acrid. How lovely that someone who has surely never had any meaningful instruction in biology would claim the mantle of genetics expert on the basis of Corinthians 6:9-10, which claims that "homosexual offenders will not inherit the kingdom of God." If this is true, I'm going to find me a nice big hairy, sweaty man-ass to plunder, because frankly I'm jealous. What a release it must be to be able to dispense of the painful and energy-draining task of cogitation by simply accepting that the answers to all of life's problems and social issues are right there in the Bible.

Not that I'm biased, but I can't help but picture some purse-lipped rottensnatch in a freshly pressed sundress returning from worship services, plopping her three-foot-wide ass down in a protesting plastic lawn chair, and banging away diligently on an antique typewriter for the 45 minutes or more required for the production of that burst of unholy ignorance.
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