HELL TO PAY
Some of you know how the Dover "Intelligent Design" trial ended. The school board in that poor fuckstrewn town has officially rescinded its ID (or anti-evolution, to be accurate) policy. Check out this letter in the same paper on the same day.
If people aren't interested in biology, and would rather quietly indulge in creation fantasies, fine. Let them. But that so many fucksticks are compelled to wax indignant about things they admittedly know nothing about is a source of no small irritation. Here you have people who have never read anything more complex than The Little Engine That Could screwing their repugnant, squint-eyed faces into cuntiform scowls and braying, "There's no way we came from monkeys 'cuz there's still MONKEYS!" around a raucous, rapid-fire series of tremulous oral queefs.
Here is a great example. This bone-breakingly dumb-assed dinktweaker opines that evolutionary biologists have followed a trail of facts just to piss off God and his cross-eyed underlings, wrongly identifying Charles Darwin as an atheist. On the one hand he notes self-importantly that scientists "weren't there" (during Biblical times) and are therefore ignorant of God's machinations at the time, while on the other he claims a priori that his own adulation of the Bible affords him and other followers special (if ineffable) access to The Truth. He quotes Jesus as if he has the guy on DVD, and rips into theistic evolutionists (the nerve of some believers! Reading textbooks 'n' shit!) and, of course, tailgunners. (I love it when people point to the Book of Romans and its passages foretelling of nonbelievers as if it means dick-all; as if any religious text worth its weight in jizz would not mention the fact that people did -- and would long continue to -- reject its contents. Do I get a prize for predicting that this post would upset a fundagelical if someone were unkind enough to read it to him?)
We need some sort of social exchange program wherein Native Americans are all moved from the nation's reservations into mainstream America and these far-gone godlyfucks are installed there in their stead. Those fundagelicals who agree not to interfere with sensible societal goings-on will be allowed periodic visits (i.e., furloughs) to off-reservation locations. They can have all the churches, guns, buffet restaurants, double-wide trailers, and Bibles they like, all at taxpayer expense, and will be relieved of the burdens of libraries, science laboratories, Planned Parenthood clinics, contraception, and schools. Those not inclined to use vaccines or antibiotics will be similarly unencumbered, especially after they go tits up.
(Tantrum owed to PZ Myers of Pharyngula)