INVASION OF THE CLASSROOM SNATCHERS

Zombies of faith have been beating their syndactylous fists against the hide of evolution for 150 years, so it would be naive to expect them to chill just because ID creationism took a vicious beating last month in a Pennsylvania courthouse. The most recent creationist maneuvering to make national headlines has taken place in El Tejon, California, where the Americans United for the Separation of Church and State has filed a lawsuit against the school district for attempting to teach young-earth creationism.

Sounds straightforward enough, right? Well, not really. You always have to dig a little to lay bare the chicanery of these dumbfucks, but it's never buried very deep. In this case, a special education teacher married to a Christian minister intended to teach a "philosophy" course "about" Intelligent Design. It didn't take long for the real story to emerge: The woman, who has no background in philosophy or science, wanted to use this class as a forum for teaching six-day creation, making non-legitimate claims about the "problems" with evolution, and in general behaving like you'd expect a creationist teacher to behave if not shackled by that pesky 1987 SCOTUS decision strictly forbidding this practice.

Hell, it wasn't even ID she was fixing to "teach" -- it was straight up, young-earth creationism. I guess Christians feel they can still milk the ID label, using it as a Trojan Horse to "sneak" the advocacy of the Book of Genesis into public-school curricula. What's next, a home-ec class dubbed "Intelligently Designed Waffles" that turns out to be a carbon copy of a class taught at the local fundie-school called "Cooking with Christ on the Cross"?

There's ample coverage of this on some of my favorite sites. Ed Brayton, on the heels of his spiffy site upgrade/migration, deals with the El Tejon case here, while PZ Myers does the same here.

These people should consider themselves lucky that they are allowed to vote, drive, and otherwise roam about society along with the rest of us, because in essence they simply aren't part of the same species. I know this sounds harsh, but I'm not agitating for the revocation of their citizenry or their constitutional rights -- it's just that no one this out of touch with the unique reasoning power afforded organisms we call Homo sapiens sapiens can legitimately be classified as an intact human being. They're bots, pod-people, zombies. The fact that they can't think critically in the manner of their unindoctrinated, non-brainwashed counterparts -- and in most cases can't recognize Bible-contradicting facts even when they're brought crashing down upon their misshapen heads -- guarantees that they are not simply going to abandon their quest to Christify America owing to embarrassing legal smackdowns and the hammer of reason.

If anything, being served defeat after humiliating defeat (a scenario "prophesied" in the Bible in as many ways as creative interpretation allows) only galvanizes them in their blind, implacable quest to do away with the evils of secularism, naturalism, Darwinism, materialism, or whatever term they've most recently employed in an effort to make "rational" appear a pejorative label. After all, anything not reliant on a shit-caked amalgam of ghost stories that is now two millennia old can't be worth much.
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