The contributors to, while nominally of a single enfeebled mind, play distinct roles in the operation, each replete with its own inverse charms. Jay is the ringleader who sets the tone; he exudes a grudging diplomacy that is at times earnest but is usually feigned, avoids fact-checking at all costs, and unflinchingly refuses to admit to making fallacious statements when confronted with same. Glib Fortuna can turn half a phrase, but his florid paranoia and parochial mentality render meaningless his average to above-average literacy level. Kender is just one pissed-off dude, and, to his dubious credit, frankly doesn't even feign sincerity. Cao is a schizophrenic copier-and-paster, the rottencrotch Queen of the Last Word at All Costs, a purveyor of smokescreens which -- unfortunately for her -- are all too transparent.

We all choose different points along the political spectrum, but no matter how you feel about contemporary liberalism or conservativism, all of these people are hypocrites, question-dodgers and liars by obligation (a blog like theirs literally could not exist otherwise).

Today's post is dedicated to perhaps the most amusing of these characters, the endlessly uncomprehending Gribbit, noted for his staunch eagerness to criticize the writing skills and intellects of others despite manifesting the educational refinement of a meth-crazed trisomy 21 victim. A fine example of how this fellow operates can be found here, where he launches his usual salvo of derogatory bullshit, only to find that he's done nothing but shatter irony meters everywhere. Let's examine what this bastion of analytical genius and gallantry had to say about illegal immigration recently.

Gribbit begins by relaying the positions on the matter of various politicians, none of whom can be trusted at this point to tell the truth owing to the special volatility of the issue at hand. He refers to Nebraska Sen. Chuck Hagel, who supports the just-approved legislation that provides a means of up to 12 million illegals to eventually gain citizenship, as an "amnesty whore." He claims that in passing this legislation, the Senate has "agreed to a comprimise [sic] which violates our nation’s sovereignty." With his usual eye for realism, he asserts that "the fine for employing just one illegal alien should be enough to become a financial burden on the biggest corporation in the United States." Gee, how many billion dollars would that be? A proposal sure to fly through Congress, no doubt, at least once all its members find a way to hide the illegal housekeepers and nannies in their employ. And his elaborately detailed -- and utterly unworkable -- plan for securing the U.S.-Mexico border is even more grandiose, though his claims regarding the positive impact on the U.S. economy of such a scheme are...intriguing.

Gribbit is certainly entitled to his beliefs, as riddled with obvious antipathy as they are. However, let's move from opinions to facts, the former (not unlike my own analogies) always applied on with all the grace and subtlety of a farmboy sodomizing a sheep with an acetylene torch, the latter being an as-yet-untapped resource there.

"Sensenbrenner was asked on NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday if he would accept any legislation that would put illegals on a path to citizenship. His answer: 'NO' ... Sensenbrenner seems to be one of the few on Capital Hill willing to stick his neck out and say what the American people are saying."

That's the Gribbit "I-have-an especially-big-fucking-mouth-so-I-represent-the-majority" version of reality. What the majority of American people are actually saying is this: 61% believe that illegal immigrants who have lived and worked in the United States for at least two years should be given a chance to keep their jobs and eventually apply for legal status (CBS News/New York Times Poll, May 4-8); 79% approve of creating a program that would allow illegal immigrants already living in the United States for a number of years to stay in this country and apply for U.S. citizenship if they had a job and paid back taxes (CNN Poll, May 16-17); 77% favor allowing illegal immigrants who have paid a fine, been in the U.S. for at least five years, paid any back taxes they owe, can speak English, and have no criminal record to stay and work in the U.S. (CBS News Poll, May 16-17 ).

Most everyone agrees that illegal immigration poses a large problem in the U.S., including me. I thought the protest-cum-boycott last month was awash in idiocy. But the claim that most Americans would reject all legislation enabling working illegals to eventually gain citizenship is just another ad hoc shit-nugget.

I can see why someone like Gribbit is afraid of losing his job. Most Mexicans filter into this country with a far better command of English than Gribbit possesses, and there are only so many low-wage potential employers such as McDonald's and Wal-Marts left to build here.

Gribbit also has a keen sense of stateside economic driving factors:

"The only thing that I see agreement on is going after employers. Is this a new revelation to these pinheads? If you eliminate the incentive for coming here in the first place, that in itself will at least slow the flow and possibly get a couple million to go back on their own."

Remember, Gribbit earlier noted that we already have plenty of laws and none are doing any good. He seems to be suggesting diverting vast resources to ferreting out the same people just given a tentative thumbs-up by the legislative branch of the federal government -- you know, Gribbit's own government.

As far as expecting Mexicans and other former Third-Worlders now shacking up in America to head back to wherever they came from on account of a few crackdowns on employers who pay their help under the table and will inevitable manage to keep doing so, something tells me not to count on it. Most political or economic refugees legally or illegally in the United States would sooner rot in federal prison than go back to a hopeless Havana or Port-au-Prince slum.

So, all in all, a typical entry: high scores for passion and conviction, low scores in terms of assessing the pulse of the nation. All that was missing was a reference to the ACLU's obvious guiding role in shellacking hard-working white Christian Americans by inviting every brown biped south of Brownsville to settle in the U.S., rape and plunder ad libitum, and abet the ACLU in its quest to convert America into a neo-Stalinist regime.

UPDATE: After registering as a user on Gribbit's own blog, I tried to leave a trackback to this post here. Gribbit, of course, didn't approve the trackback, but I knew he wouldn't -- my only aim was to make him and him alone aware of my thoughts on his table-pounding bullshit. Meanwhile, under another Gribbit entry attempting to portray Democratic politicians as especially dishonest, I left a comment that included a giant collection of Republican malfeasance perpetrated in recent years. Gribbit, of course, deleted these and went on to explain with his usual charms why he had edited my comment and that I was not welcome on his blog. This stuff speaks marvelously for itself, but note that I did in fact read his disclaimer and followed all the guidelines there, but was treated like a criminal anyway; and regarding my trackback, Gribbit claims to have not read this post (despite visiting this page earlier today) yet somehow finds reason tlabel it "uncivil."

My comments are universally deleted from now as well. This doesn't upset or surprise me, but it does interest me that these winger-whacko bloggers are adamant about both boasting of the mammoth amounts of traffic their sites supposedly receive and deleting others' input despite constantly defying people to prove them wrong. Evidently they want a ton of visitors, but nothing but adulation from all of them. In this way they are remarkably infantile, which the mild sadist in me relishes because it is easily to provoke an infant into a tantrum-throwing state that is enjoyable to "watch."

I myself have no inclination to delete anything someone writes here, especially if it is composed by a blitherfuck man-child whose main rhetorical weapons are threats of violence and sheer avoidance.


Blogger Maj. M.T. Rational XXXIV said...

Gribbit is my favorite Stop the ACLUer of all time! I have his rookie card! Too bad he still won't sign it for me, but I still know he loves me. Like that time he said he wanted to break my jaw, he just said that because he cares.

Did you really drop a trisomy-21 bomb on him like that? Damn, son! That's cold! Maybe next time you could go the Prader-Willi or cri-du-chat syndrome route.

Also let me warn you against quoting Gribbit too often. I'd hate for you to have to buy a new keyboard if your [sic] key breaks.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Bill from Dover said...

Phone-crazies; the whole fuckin' bunch of em.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Mikey said...

Holy crap, BM. This was an amazing post.

12:59 PM  

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